The Switch, Issue #19
Ideas, tools and resources for people who want to live a meaningful life.
Hi everyone, it's my birthday today! Socially-constructed milestones like the end of a year provide us with an even greater opportunity to reflect. What have we learnt from this tumultuous year? How can we make the next one better? Despite the pandemic, I can once again say; this has been the best year of my life (so far).
🎯 The one thing you must do BEFORE setting your 2021 goals
Many of us forget to ask ourselves one crucial question when setting our goals: “why?” In this article, I share the six universal human needs that underpin all our desires and I support you to ensure you set the right goals for next year.
❤️ How can you develop and maintain deep relationships?
Human connection is proven by research as the most important thing for our happiness. I wrote this story about how I met my girlfriend and how I'm building stronger relationships - as told in Episode 8 of my podcast.
🏡 Crafting your Environment with a Tiny House builder
In last week’s episode of “Principled?” I explored Principle 7: “Environment shapes the self. Surround yourself with people and settings that positively impact you.” Together with guest Bernie Hörl, a Tiny House builder & resident, we explore how our environment influences our well-being and how to live amongst positive surroundings that fulfil us.
💪 5 Anxiety-Provoking Habits Among High Achievers, Psychology Today
Like many of you, I'm a personal development junkie. This trait enhances my life for the most part, but my insatiable drive for self-betterment and achievement can lead to anxiety. This article sheds light on the habits creating this anxiety and gives you the practical tools to break them.
📅 Forget New Year's Resolutions and Conduct a 'Past Year Review' Instead, Tim Ferris
The past does not equal the future, but it's the best predictor we have. By looking through your 2020 calendar, TF's method helps you gain an objective reflection of your year. What activities/people/commitments energised you that you should schedule for 2021? And what energy-drainers should you put on your "NOT-TO-DO LIST"? This exercise is step one, before you craft your life principles or set 2021 goals (see this issue’s Flick The Switch below).
🌳 When Human Evolution Collides with the Modern World, Adam Hart
"Forged by natural selection and honed by evolution, humans are perfectly adapted machines. . . for a world that no longer exists." I just finished reading Unfit for Purpose, which explains a simple, yet powerful idea that guides many of my life decisions: to live a fulfilling life, we must acknowledge our fundamental biology and emulate elements of our hunter-gatherer past.
Craft your life principles, THEN set your 2021 goals
"The one who grasps principles can successfully select their own methods. The one who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
2020 was an awful year for achieving my goals. Why? Because goals in their conventional sense are static - and I didn't anticipate a global pandemic that would prevent me from "attending five events or conferences that inspire me." However, this didn't stop this year from being my best yet, because I lived according to my 12 principles for an extraordinary life (as I discuss in my podcast).
Our environment will always change. We are thrown around by the waves of life – whether randomly by world pandemics, or more purposefully by advertising campaigns or pushy parents.
Throughout this, one thing can guide us: our principles.
They are like the north star out at sea. No matter what’s happening around us, we can always look up and gain guidance towards our destination. Principles are universally applicable, and so able to support any challenging decision. They are actionable values.
I crafted mine by regularly reflecting, becoming aware of my gut feelings and digging deeper to the needs that underlie them. Here are three questions to spark your thinking for developing your principles:
- What is important to me in my relationships, work, social life?
- What life advice would I give to my 10 year old self?
- How would I want to raise a child?
Take 5 minutes to write down your thoughts. Now, look through your answers and see where they overlap. Try to come up with a few one-line statements that define how you would like to live your life.
You can even test your principles with this fun thought experiment: imagine a future where artificial intelligence (AI) took over your body and had to replace you in your life for a week (while your mind was plugged into a virtual happiness machine.) What rules would you want that AI to live by to make sure they didn’t destroy your life while you were “away”?
Surely 2021 will be less turbulent than this year? But this truth remains: change is the only constant.
Photo of the Week
Salomé and I converted my home office into a shared studio. Now I have the best co-worker in the world!
What switch will you make?
-Tom
Happy Birthday, Tom! Hope you have a wonderful day ☺️